It's Called a "Zomb" for Short

So there's this app.

It's called "Zombies, Run", and it's absolutely brilliant. Want to know why? It's brilliant because unlike many apps, this one wastes neither your time nor money, and actually encourages you to be a healthy, well-exercised being.

BECAUSE IF YOU AREN'T, THEY'LL CATCH YOU AND EAT YOUR BRAINS.

Okay, that was abrupt. I apologize. Let me explain a little:

Zombies, Run is an app in which the consumer plugs in a pair of earbuds, puts on a pair of tennis shoes, and just runs and listens. As you listen, it is revealed that you're a runner being sent to carry out some kind of mission in a well-fortified (although small) town called Abel Township. The township communicates with you via "radio" (of course, it's actually pre-recorded segments that you listen to on your headphones) and you are told where to run, what supplies to pick up, and whether or not you're currently being followed by the undead. In real life, you may run wherever you like, whether that be outside on the sidewalks of your town or inside on a treadmill or track. You just sort of pretend you're going to the abandoned hospital or the neighboring township, although really you run wherever you feel like running.

There's a bunch of missions, fun characters, and a developing plot line that unfolds as you go along. So pretty much it's just another interactive medium for storytelling. They play music from your playlists in between the story segments so you don't have to run in silence if you don't want to as well, so that's cool.

Okay okay okay. But here's the best part. When the zombies are chasing you, you have to run faster. Technology is SO COOL nowadays; when you're running, your phone can feel your pace, and it knows when you speed up and slow down. So when the zombies are starting to catch up, if you don't put on a burst of speed, they'll catch you. And THAT'S why it's a running motivator. Fear and adrenaline--there's nothing like that combination to get your speed up!

Anyway, so I absolutely love this app...Honestly, this is the first time I've ever had a smartphone, and this app is the first thing that I've really felt it would be difficult to give up if I had to go back, hahaha.... But yeah, I just wanted to give you some background, because I want to tell you about my zombie adventures, because they're totally awesome. :D

Adventure #1: First Time Runner

So it was my first time using the app, and I was really excited because I'd heard my coworker, Tim, talking about how cool it was, and I thought it sounded like tons of fun.

I was totally pumped up. I read the initial instructions, put in my headphones, and took off, trying not to run so fast as to waste all my energy before I even had to outrun the walking dead. It was probably about nine o' clock on a Thursday evening, and I wasn't worried. Here in Provo, it's exceptionally easy to find friendly, lit streets to jog on, and since it was still so early, I knew there would be plenty of people out and about, walking around Provo. Mostly students returning from BYU and couples who had probably been kicked out of the apartment by surly roommates.

So I started jogging, and the story began. It was fairly typical for the beginning of a zombie story, but I was excited anyway. It was clever, funny, and.........everyone had British accents. Score! I'm very much alright with listening to a bunch of British people cracking dry jokes and guiding me away from zombies.

But...once the story started getting more serious, I suddenly began realizing how dark it was outside, how very like a stalking specter every single pedestrian looked, and how every single sound made me jump. Call me ridiculous, but I was totally getting creeped out...........Aaaannnnddd.......I was loving every second of it. :)

So I'm getting pretty freaked out as the story moves along. Without giving away any major plot points I'll just say that I had been separated from everyone I'd come with and had to make it to the township without getting spotted, attacked, and consequently digested. Also, I didn't yet have any music on my phone, and so the bits in between story segments were very much eerily silent.

I saw some high-school age boys hanging out in a front yard up ahead of me, and simultaneously I heard the words, "Warning. Zombies: 100 metres" ominously in my head. My heart sped up and, I'm pleased to say, so did my feet.

"Crap. Okay. It's alright, you got this," I said to myself. "They're not that close yet, and they're probably not gaining on you. Zombies are slow." Sometimes I have to give myself pep talks when there's no one else to do it, okay?! ;)

The boys had just glanced up at me uninterestedly when I suddenly heard, "Warning. Zombies: 37 metres".

All other thoughts left my head. I began sprinting madly, wideyed and shouting at the top of my lungs, "SHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!"

Hahahaha it sounds completely ridiculous, but let me just say that I was in the zone, and at that particular moment, in that particular zone, nothing else mattered besides escaping from the zombies. I watched the boys' heads follow me, wary but slightly amused as they observed my complete breakdown. I can't even think about it without laughing, haha, because even though I didn't see their faces (I was waaaayyy too focused on the impending dismemberment of my brain to pay attention to something as trivial as that), I just love imagining what they must have looked like... Although it is Provo after all, which is a city full of nuts, so maybe they're used to things like that by now...?

Anyway, the rest of the run was fairly uneventful. The story was fantastic, and I made it home alive and all that, and I had a sprained ankle for the next week or so, but it was a pretty brilliant experience all in all. I've never been so motivated to run. :)

Adventure #2: Haha, What The...?

So due to the fact that I sprained my ankle on the zombie run of terror, I couldn't really do anything for awhile. But suddenly, yesterday I realized it was no longer painful! I was very excited. :) So tonight I decided to go on another zombie run, and this time I made sure beforehand to transfer some good music onto my phone. I made a nice running playlist, pulled my hair back, put my shoes on, and I was ready to go!

It was really good. Also at night, also in Provo. This time, however, the mission was a simple running tour of the township, since my character in the story was still new to the area. I felt like it'd be pretty simple, and I was no longer brand new to the experience, so it wasn't very scary for me this time.

Then, music from the Pirates of the Caribbean 2 soundtrack came on. The song is called "The Kraken", which you may listen to here if you like. (TIME OUT--did you see that amazing little teeny link I made? Dad, you should be so proud, I've started learning a little bit of HTML!!! Totally just wrote my own HREF. :D :D :D Anyway, moving on.) You should start listening at 5:58, since it's a bit of a long song. Then, if you want to, you can listen between 2:56 and 3:32.

That song totally got my blood racing. I was in the zone again, ready to be scared. It was an intense, battle, do or die kind of song, and it was perfect for listening to while running from zombies.

Then Runner 7, another character, sent me on a little run to pick something up. There were zombies (or "zombs", as they call them) over there, but he said that if I just put on a bit of extra speed, I could easily outrun them. It was the first danger of the entire run yet, and I was excited to get some zombie action in! Especially when the music was so delightfully serious. I was nervous, but I took a deep breath and set off, ready to sprint if I had to.

And right EXACTLY on cue, the song ended, and changed to.............. this.

I AM NOT JOKING YOU. It was perfect!! I started laughing so hard I almost tripped and fell flat on my face. :D Luckily, of course, I happened to be in the most popular evening area in Provo--the intersection by J-Dawgs and Slab Pizza, where there are always students hanging out at those exceptionally well-known food places, walking home from BYU, or generally milling about. So again, there were plenty of people around to be audience to the best moments of my run. And of course I, who only look like a normal runner, and who began laughing hysterically for seemingly no reason, drew many odd looks. It was priceless, all of it.

So I ran rather gleefully than worriedly from today's zombies, and had a good laugh.

The rest of the run proceeded uneventfully. But mostly I just think I've had completely hilarious experiences with this app, and I wanted to share them. I definitely love it, and I definitely recommend it. It's not free; in fact, it's the only app I've ever paid for, but it's so worth it. I'm having a blast. :)

That is all.

Today, I Celebrate My Independence Day

Today, I decided I'm done apologizing.

And no, it's not what you think.

I'm not sliding into the sinkhole of modern self-entitlement. I'm not deciding nothing is ever my fault anymore, and I'm the one who should be apologized to. I'm not done admitting when I've been wrong and making amends accordingly.

I'm done apologizing for ME. 

Who am I?

I'm a little weird. I make dumb jokes and like things that aren't conventional. I spend too much energy loving and thinking about characters, lives, stories, and worlds that aren't real. And I'm not sorry.

I'm an equalist. I don't think men are better than women. And I don't think that women are better than men. I don't think whites are better than blacks. And I don't think blacks are better than whites. Et cetera. And I'm not sorry.

I'm a Mormon. I believe in Jesus Christ, and everything he teaches and stands for. I believe and follow Thomas S. Monson, the modern prophet. And I'm not sorry. 

I'm a human. I'm flawed. I judge people wrongly sometimes, I'm quite lazy most of the time, and I'm prone to emotional breakdowns. And, because I'm working on improving in my own way in my own time, not anyone else's, I'm not sorry.

I'm addicted to movies. I can't get enough of them. They're my art. There are few things I'd rather do than watch a movie, even though I realize I've watched many that weren't worth the time I wasted on them. And when I'm not watching them, I'm thinking about them. And I'm not sorry. 

I work at a data-entry desk job, where I can only work for 39.9 hours and no more because they're unable to give me benefits. I have no position of merit or standing. And I'm not sorry.

I'm a crier. I cry in movies, I sob over old situations that should be long since unimportant to me, I shed tears of frustration, inadequacy, hurt, happiness, empathy. Sometimes I cry because I fell snowboarding, and it just really hurt. My tear ducts work double time, all the time. And I'm not sorry. 

I'm an introvert. I used to think otherwise, I maybe used to even be otherwise, but I'm an introvert now. I'm shy. I have no desire to meet lots of new people. I like hanging out by myself. Calling people I don't know (e.g. businesses, people I need something from, etc.) irrationally terrifies me. Many a Friday night of mine is spent by myself, reading or on my computer. And I'm not sorry. 

I'm not a size 2. I'm not even a size 8. I'm short. I'm stocky. I have a round face, unruly hair, gorgeous blue eyes, rather large hips, and plenty of tummy fat. And I'm not sorry. 

I'm a dreamer. I'm naive and sheltered. I still believe in happily ever after. I automatically trust everyone. I'm easy to manipulate. And I'm not sorry. 

I'm a singer. I'm nothing special, a dime a dozen, rather commonplace here in Provo. I can't belt and have no particular classical voice talent either. But I'm a good singer. And I love it. And I'm not sorry. 

I'm intelligent. I get bad grades and have no genius status (like Albert Einstein's, for example)  to use as an excuse. I make connections really well. I read people really well. I have a million useless facts crammed into my head. I'm really smart. And there are a ton of people loads smarter than me. And I'm not sorry. 

I wear sweatpants almost constantly, though I actually have pretty good fashion sense. I own far too many clothes that don't fit well, are too old, or just no longer look good on me. I know a lot about makeup, and when I actually try, it looks awesome on me. I also don't actually care very much how I look even if maybe I should. And I'm not sorry. 

I'm a lover of the misfits, shy people, and "geeks". One of my biggest thrills in life is getting to know quiet or awkward people and finding their fantastically beautiful self, the personality that not everyone gets to see. I love being around all those people you think are strange, shy, unorthodox, or unpopular. Being friends with them usually means I get to miss out on being friends with the outgoing, cool kids. And I'm not sorry. 

I don't have very much money. What I do have, I spend on what's important to me. I don't get to go out often. I rarely (read "never") go on shopping sprees. I buy movies as often as I can. I also don't have the money to try and impress anyone. And I'm not sorry. 


I'm done apologizing for who I am. I'm ME. And I'm just not sorry for that. 




That is all.